Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Organizing Toys for Kids With Visual Sensitivities

In my last post I talked about how much Bean's behavior has been changing, and how I am struggling to not only cope, but to find others that are going through the same thing.

Through chatting with a few others that reached out, I am back on my game now.  I am still going to take him to the doctor (which is a mess of situation worthy of another post in, and of itself) but I am going to try some new things in the meantime.  Some of those I detail in the comments section of the post, so I'm not gonna relay them here, too.  However, one thing that occurred to me was that maybe it was time to do another de-cluttering of Bean's toys. He tends to get really overwhelmed easily when he has too many choices. I try to keep his amount of available toys to choose from neat, organized and at a minimum to help him. For some reason, it hardly ever occurs to him to dig through toy boxes to find his favorite items. If he can't find something in his line of vision to play with he will just not try, which renders him bored, and irritable.  I am aware that the totality of the situation does not rest on the organization of his toys, but I do think it might help.

I thought to myself as I was preparing to do my usual cleaning routine that if my son does well with certain things in certain orders than maybe  others might benefit from it, too, so here is my tutorial on how to help arrange play areas for children with visual sensitivities:

First- Gather all toy boxes

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Severe #Autism, Puberty and the conversations that need to be happening

Here lately I have been struggling with Beans, and his increasingly aggressive behavior. I don't care as much about about the aggression, or the destruction of my home as much as I care that he seems quite unhappy.  I have spoken about it some on my Inner Aspie page, and more on my personal FB page.  I tend to keep quite a lot of these struggles to myself, as I know the inevitable wall of advice is bound to come along with anything I post.  I don't mind advice, and sometimes welcome it, but in the case of Beans it seems he has a different kind of autism than almost anyone else I have ever met, online, or off.  Autism Daddy is probably one of the very few examples I have found that somewhat matched up with my Beans. Though, his son, and ideas on dealing with things differ from mine it is a close approximation.

Last year, for Christmas one of Beans paras took a bunch of photos of his classroom, and put them on a special slideshow/video dvd for the parents.  Beans is in a classroom with other kids who are severely affected by autism, as well. He is by far the most delayed. I don't know that I noticed as much until popping that dvd in. I watched the other 2 kids in his class participate in activities while Beans just ran around in the background. Don't get me wrong, the school (usually) is very good at including him in every activity they can. The thing is, he doesn't have the skills to be involved in most of what the rest are doing. In P.E. the other 2 try to mimic what the rest of the 3rd grade class is doing, my son is running around playing tickles with the para. He will play tickles and peek-a-boo all day long. It isn't wrong, and it is engaging socially at his level of ability. I don't have an issue with it, but he is quite delayed in development, but yet his body is growing. His mind is beginning to get flooded with the hormones of adolescence, which delayed or not makes anyone moody, and obstinate.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

When Good Date Nights Go Bad- What to do?

After another date night that fell flat, and almost ended in a mega argument, my husband I are now being more proactive in planning these things. I am a big planner. I plan for plans, even, It really wasn't lack of preparation on my part, as much as lack of ideas. My husband counts on me to have the plan. He never tends to have one. Sometimes, I find this irritating, because it seems that I'm doing all of the work, but when I look at all areas of his life, he never has short term plans, so I take that into account, and try not to take offense. I am still doing the majority of the work in running things, but again, this is my strength.

I thought about when my husband and I were dating. What did we used to enjoy out on dates, and for fun?

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Personal Consumption Challenge- Join me!

I came across the challenge I quote below in my inbox from VIA- Institute of Character. I'm not really familiar with the organization, but I did like this particular email. I thought their idea was a very, very good one.

So, I'm gonna do it! I think it's important to know what we are doing, and what we are being exposed to on a daily basis. I am not one for thinking about energy in spiritual way, whatsoever, but I do think our thoughts, words, feelings and action impact others. Our environment is important in how we feel.

I am going to go one step further in the process, and write down what I am feeling, thinking, and doing every hour as well. Not a whole journal entry, or anything. Just a few words should do. I am curious how my results will look.

So, here's the challenge:

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Off the Cuff, and From the Heart

As I sit here on my couch, and contemplate my day it's about 10:30 pm. I hear Beans running around his room tapping his an empty water bottle, and exclaiming "Daaaa daaaay deeee!" My husband slumbers half off our sectional couch so exhausted that our 55 pound dog just ran over his head several times chasing the cat without waking him. My daughter, and her boyfriend sit in the other room talking, and the floor is littered with grapes, and cracker crumbs. I still will have to clean up the kitchen, and put away laundry before bed, but that's okay, because Beans is not likely to go to sleep before 11:30 anyway. This scenario is not atypical for my house at this time of day. As a matter of fact, it's pretty on schedule for what I expect.

Today wasn't anything great. It's wasn't anything awful. It was just another day. I got some stuff done, but not all of what I wanted, or even needed to. I think that I will never have my list of to-do's completed. I could very well be 98, on my death bed still clutching my to-do list. I can see it now

Sunday, July 14, 2013

How to help an Introverted #Autistic Person Feel More Comfortable in Social Activities

On my Inner Aspie FB page an interesting discussion took place the other day, and a question was posed that I said I'd further think about, and extrapolate here after doing so.

Basically, it was a discussion about introverted vs extroverted aspies, and how would one go about making an introverted autistic feel more comfortable in a group, or even social setting. I would like to first point out that an extroverted autistic person may or may not be auspicious. Sometimes, they are the most noticeable, due to how on display they are naturally. They  loudly violate social rules that make me sit back, and cringe as they do it. Sometimes, I am too hyper-aware of the rules, and am over thinking everything, instead of being in the moment, which is somewhat needed for a fluid social exchange that is positive, and rewarding for all sides. The thing is, most of my social skills are not intuitive. They are intellectual, so it is hard for me to be go on autopilot around people. Mostly because I just don't have much to say to most people

Thursday, July 11, 2013

She's No One's Best Friend

A few years ago, I was talking to an acquaintance on the phone about a lady we both knew.  I didn't know her, but from passing. I'd never spoken to her, but her presence kind of came off as a little insane.  The person I was talking to said "She's no one's best friend. She's just not the best friend type.". That phrase really stuck with me. It was something I thought about since then quite a bit. It seemed that it fit me quite well.

I've already talked about my aversion to group activities, and why I'm not popular, and never will be. This post kind of attaches itself to those by subject.  I have a strange aversion to being the center of attention, and wanting to be. It's a strange contradiction. On one hand, I love getting likes on FB page, and feel nothing short of very sad when I lose likes, or 'people talking about this' goes down, yet I am not willing to be someone I am not to get more likes. I am not just a parent blogger.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Closets From my Past

These last couple of nights I have been having dreams of an odd nature. Not only am I able to recall them when I awake, but they are that kind of realistic dream that sticks with you for awhile.  You are aware of the heaviness that it imprints on your consciousness emotionally.  I feel kind of nostalgic, and sad.

In both of them I was on a road trip that suddenly landed me at my parent's house.  Their home in real life is a few hours away, so you would not just stumble on it by accident, and decide to stop in, but in my dream that is what happened. I felt kinda lost, and not sure where to go, and what to do.

In the first dream I was in my old room going through my closet, cleaning out clothes.  I was surprised at how much still fit. What I was stuck on, was what was still in style. I kept second-guessing my keep, and throw out piles. I would try them on, and wonder to myself "Does this still work?" "Is this in style?"  I couldn't always decide what was still in style, or not, so I began imploring my husband's opinion. He told me it wasn't his choice. I'd have to decide for myself.

In my dream, I felt very oppressed,

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

#Autistic Overwhelm Prevention

Yesterday, I was reminded of my personal boundaries in a potentially lethal way.

Lately, I have been having to answer phones, and do other office work for my husband's business that has grown too large for him to manage on his own. There is a series of urgent calls with frantic customers on the other line needing their needs put first.  They all are important, and they all have relavent needs, but unfortunately, there is only so much work my husband can get to ay any given time.

Secretary work, by far, is NOT my thing.  I don't like phones, and I don't like chatting with strangers. But, this is a life necessity.  I can handle it, once I get used to the routine, and develop a new one. Plus, there will not always be this volume of calls, and other duties on a constant stream.  I am aware of that, so I am being rational about it.

However, my brain is taxed.  I thrive on routine to keep my brain running smoothly.  This is stops me from overexerting and having to over think every move due to poor executive functioning skills, or really not skills, but ability, maybe?  Skills implies that I need to learn more, but I have learned what helps me, and that is having s solid routine, as well as not overdoing things by trying to multitask. Yesterday, I had several appointments, and errands to run, as well as phones to tend to, and calls to return.

I felt a bit rushed, but fine. I felt like I was a bit uncomfortable, but could manage.  Then, I backed into a car leaving an appointment. I didn't see him there, but it was just a superficial bump.  All is good.  I head to my next stops, and head home.  I start not to be able to remember the phone calls I made this morning. Who did I say what to? Nevermind, I will remember later. I head out to take the dog to his obedience class. Crossing an intersection I bump another car. This was almost a big accident. I should have not done this.  This is my brain malfunctioning.

I forgot the rule of how my brain works.